they may be invisible to my eyes, but not to my soul.

so what do we all do during times of hardship? do you turn to family, friends? maybe you work it off or hit the gym looking for some kind of release...obviously for me i generally turn to running and just push it away...the the pavement seep it out the my feet and that way my brain has no chance to process it...but, things are no longer transpiring in such a manner...maybe my brain finally caught onto the game that the rest of my body was playing and put a halt to things...i am 90 percent sure i am going to take a significant break from running to try and heal my body because it is far from healthy and i would just be stupid to continue the way i am...obviously i will seek other forms of exercise to stay in shape during this time, but i know that it is going to be a struggle...vancouver has politely showed me how much i really love running...there were days that i would return from work in no mood to really do anything, but 5 minutes into a run and i felt on top of the world...the feeling you get when you are soaring down a deserted road, the wind brushing by your face like a pair of soft fingers, can't be beaten on the best of days...i could get lost in the sound of my feet pounding against the road like a metronome, it was magical, like a orchestra of a 1000 people all playing in perfect harmony...but that must be put on hold for the greater good and for the future...i will seek treatment and opinions from the skilled people in this world and hopefully come back stronger...so now the question is where to turn for release?

music?

last night i discovered how much i miss listening to music...i mean the music never stopped, but i think i stopped listening for awhile...each song is like a painting...some people see the painting and simply see different colours of paint...but others, well they see a vision, they see a message that was painted specifically for them...and that is how i used to feel when i listened to music, i would lay in my bed sometimes alone, sometimes not and just enjoy the songs and how they came together to create an atmosphere of sound waves...i will use this to help me get through these tough times, because that is my roots...i remember when i first heard brand new, the band that i consider closes to my heart...i piece of me changed forever and i loved that...i have listened to those songs 1000's of times now since first hearing them and still love them...it is pretty tough to top that...so heres to therapy through music and letting each note and chord send you a message...i know thats what i will be doing.

m.