yesterday was not a great day, but i recovered...a little music, some comforting words from a friend and i think i have an idea on how to right the ship...i have fallen off the wagon a bit and just haven't had the motivation to get back on...sometimes it just seems there are so many steps and that not taking any would be much easier...but then that would be just giving up right! and life just isn't worth giving up on, no matter the damage sustained...maybe its a question about physics...just like pushing a heavy ball, it takes much more force to get the ball started, to overcome the initial friction and mass, but once moving things will just fall into place.
the thing is when i think about it, i do it to myself...certain decisions that i make chip away at my base, but i continue to make them because i am not ready to let it go...like i said in a previous post, maybe that is just a personality flaw, and maybe its just because i believe in the greater power of the world and that things come around full circle...how do you cut ties with something that you need to make sure is true, but every time you check to make sure it is staying true a small piece of you dies...thats one i will have to work on...until the future.
m.
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