kicking the habit.

i have made it through my first weekend in this foreign place i have chose to re-establish my life...i can't say it was eventful, but i will say i am happy to be here...friday was a very rough day as i decided that the start of a new job is a great time to start really changing my life...one thing that that involves is kicking the caffeine habit...i had come down from a few cups a day to one cup a day over the last couple of months so i figured cutting it out of my morning ritual wouldn't be that big of a deal...boy was i wrong...the day started off well, but by mid afternoon an explosion had gone off in my head and it would just not go away...nothing i did helped and i was forced to lie around helplessly for awhile...i was determined not to give up entirely on the day so i went to the home depot (which would normally make it a nice little thursday), but my brain was fuzzy and i felt like i was disappearing...i figured if i moved onto something a bit more exciting i could shake the vice that had a grip on my mind...off to the grocery store, which if you know me is one of my favourite places...it was the worst grocery store experience of my life...that alone almost brought me to tears...the grocery store is my safe place, it always makes me feel good, except thursday...i stumbled through the aisles, perhaps skinning a few heals, i am not sure and got out of there as fast as i could while trying not to forget anything...i got home plopped everything down and retired to the couch to die...who would have thought kicking a caffeine addiction would be this horrible...i feel for those people who are addicted to something a bit more narly...i finally gave in to some aspirin which stomped the pounding enough that i could drift away into a coffee coma...surprisingly i woke feeling much better...i now i am three days into a caffeine free life...i feel good and ready to tackle my first day tomorrow.

there is something exciting about moving to a place where literally nobody knows who you are...nobody knows your past, no mistakes and no triumphs...i feel almost like a ghost...i can be anybody i want with no stigma or preconceived ideas to sift through...i think it will be a learning experience, perhaps a tad lonely, but there is lots to explore...i am anxious to see how each day turns out.

as for running, my body isn't agreeing to much with me lately...i am glad to be a bit more grounded now and i can get into a routine...there is a pool/gym that is close by that i think i am going to join just to help get my body back into shape...i am waiting for some equipment to come in the mail which will help battle the cold weather...stay tuned.

m.

how do you shake hands with a city?

i have departed and arrived again...i wonder what life would be like to arrive for the first time and then never leave that place...boring? comfortable? safe? in any case, my life has not been like that...i have departed my birth place to begin a new chapter in my life...a chapter that will start with meeting new people as i know nobody is this new city, save for an old grade school companion...does this scare me? i don't think so, i feel more anxious to get going...anxious to run new streets, shake new hands and learn new things...i am anxious to swim in new water and create new memories...perhaps my latest arrival will lead to a new home, something i can build on...i can honestly say i am a bit sick of the departing/arrival routine and have serious plans to grows some roots here...the past couple of months have been a struggle and there were times when i was faced with a sad reality...the optimism that once fill my body was slowly fading away, and the negativity that filled the air was leaching through my skin...but, through struggle, there is always something to learn and i took hold of that opportunity...and now the streets of c-dub must endure my wrath...i plan to get my fat ass in shape again and get my life back in line with what i wanted it to be...it has been fun being a bum, but i am ready to be something much bigger and better...stay tuned for the rest of my life.

m.

time for reruns.

tomorrow the return begins...been saying my goodbyes and selling all my crap, streamlining everything so it will fit into the orange bomber and then off drew and i go...the saying goodbyes to the people i care about is always a bit tough, but i am excited to be moving on and hopefully this time its in the right direction...everybody keeps telling me 'everything happens for a reason' and i just hope they are right...i just hope the reason isn't so i can keep posting zeros to the scoreboard, but just in a different stadium...but i am pumped and ready to go...drew and i will be blogging from the road and since we only have his little cell phone we will be doing it at a special place...check out this link to follow and comment or suggest.

http://psoebr.ulmb.com/journey/

here is to those in ontario that read this...i'll be seeing you soon.

m.

the day i say goodbye.

when people ask me why i came to vancouver i don't really know what to say...i didn't come for a job, i was leaving a lot of people i loved, but for some reason i felt i had to do something...maybe that is it, just to do something...coming to vancouver has had a profound affect on my life...good or bad, i am not really sure, actually i am not really sure if i want to think about it that way...i have discovered parts of me i didn't know existed, but i have also lost things that i didn't know meant so much to me...all in all it was a learning experience...i guess some people would say it was a waste of time, but i would just call it living...i enjoyed many aspects of living in vancouver, but i know forsure it is not a place i want to live any length of time in...what i am saying is, its time for me to leave.

i am heading home.

well, i am not sure if that is an accurate statement...where is home for me...i guess in the traditional sense where i grew up, but i sort of grew up in different locations, so which one wins out as home...maybe home is where the people you love are...but the people i love are so scattered...this is so confusing!! well, i guess i can't say i am coming home because it seems at this moment i don't have a home...and to be honest, that is okay with me...i am in search of a home, perhaps this will help:

* single male looking for permanent to semi-permanent home *
- relatively clean; enjoy vacuuming and sweeping when ears are filled with good music
- can be noisy when playing guitar or telling animated story
- spend many hours away from home running the streets contemplating life
- been known to have the occasional friend over and their girlfriends (i have perfected being the third wheel)
- hope to grow close and bond through candle light dinners and late night movies

if anybody has any recommendations drop me a comment.

home or no home, i am heading back to ontario where most of my family and most of my friend reside...i am excited about that...at this point it appears i will be leaving the west coast on the 30th of this month and heading east in the orange bomber with one more passenger than i had on the way out...i wanted to lay this out in my blog because at this point i plan to do some couch surfing, as in crashing on friends and families couches for short periods of time as i continue my job search...i figure this is the best way to see as many people as i can before i find an actual place to live...i know the obvious places i will be hitting, but if anybody reads this and wants a visit from a homeless person please hit me with a comment or a facebook message...i can offer barefoot running tips, cynical views on life and long winded opinions on a variety of topics...i look forward to seeing anybody i see.

here is what i look like now if anybody has forgot...haha.



m.

20 fingers.

so i got my pair of vibram five fingers and they are pretty wicked...i went with the aqua camo because i thought it best represented my personality...black or brown is so boring...plus i wanted them to stand out so everybody would stare (which happened...why do people try to hide their stares...it confuses me...like i don't see you staring at my feet)...anyways, i figured i should wear them around a bit to break them in, but then instead i did the grouse grind in them...that first pic above is me on the trail and the second one is me almost breaking my foot while trying to take another photo so i put the camera away until i was at the top...the third is the FF after the climb, a little dirty but no worse for the wear...i am not going to do a review of them or anything, you can find a hundred of them on the web already...i will say i loved them, they really do mimic barefootting well and give you protection against all the stuff that shoe wearers are afraid of...i also did an easy 5 miles in them later the same day and they were great...you can still feel all the contours and changes in the ground (which is the best part of barefooting) but the little stones and rocks don't get to you as much...there are a few different types of FF which i will be looking into in the future, but these will do me for now...go check them out and consider buying some, you won't be disappointed.

the next day, i decided to do another hike, the chief (located in squamish), in the FF...again they performed great...the best parts of wearing these new 'shoes' is that my leg muscles get a great workout...in the past when i was wearing shoes i would get various pains that were just uncomfortable and, well, painful...these pains were not a good thing, they were warnings against something that was bad...wearing FF i don't get pain, i get soreness because i am using muscles i didn't previously use on a regular basis...i can see how much stronger my feet and lower legs were get after prolonged use of the FF...i can't say enough...here are some highlights of my climb up the chief.





other than my FF nothing new is going on here...i am waiting on some job news and if it is good looks like i will be moving to canmore, alberta...if the news isn't as good all you ontario folk keep your eyes peeled for my pretty little face...i miss all you anyways, so if you see a runner barefoot in your parts who looks like he hasn't shaved in 6 weeks, it could be me...i will posted with the good/bad news when i get it...until then enjoy the world.

m.