Monday, January 19, 2009

letting it go, yes or no?

this weekend was relaxing...got to chat with a few friends, fixed up the new/used guitar, caught a couple of movies and toured a bit around the community...on saturday i set out on foot to run a few errands and what i got along the way was a lot of day dreaming...there were signs for the lottery at 22 million everywhere and it was pretty fun to imagine what i would do...i find it interesting that whenever i daydream about winning lots of money it never involves buying a lot of stuff...the most prominent theme of my current fantasy was picking up an R.V. and just road tripping around the continent with my friends...hitting up different places to run and seeing the country side in a close up personal way...i wonder what your daydreams and fantasy say about you as a person...is it a foreshadow for the future, somehow explaining my inner layers through the actions i would take with 22 million dollars...i think there are some lessons hidden in our dreams and our fantasies that we should pay attention to, perhaps those lessons will guide us to making our dreams become reality.

one thing that also hit me hard as i was walking through the streets of vancouver is why as humans we get so angry...i saw a driver make an obvious traffic violation, a poor decision on all parts...but what transpired after sort of blew my mind...the person behind this driver was furious and took to shouting and speeding ahead of the original driver...i was on the opposite side of 4 lanes of traffic and I could hear the man cursing like he wanted to killed the driver that had made the mistake...and all i could think was why? why do we take those little things so personally, and why do we allow them to boil our blood so fast? by no means was it a personal slight to the driver, but yet he took it that way and became almost violent, out of control...over what, a few lost seconds? where is the logic here? i think as humans we waste a lot of time and energy being angry over the smallest things...are we building resentment and bitterness through our life, allowing those demons to grow inside of us before letting them out every time we feel slighted in the least...perhaps that is it...instead of dealing with each of our problems with jam them into a bottle so tight until the lid explodes and we show the world what has been hiding the whole time...i understand anger is a form of expression; its part of life...but i say we try not to let it overcome us, especially in situations that don't merit it.

like i said before, i fixed up the guitar i bought for 25 bones...it now plays pretty good and it even plugs into my amp which is exciting...but, as i was telling a friend, i get a little sad each time i play it because i think of my first guitar, the original...playing guitar has become a great part of my life and to be forced to say goodbye to one has been a little bit of a struggle...but perhaps this guitar will bring out new things from inside me, new words and new sounds...and that is defintely something to look forward to...this friend told me that she wasn't suprised that i was sad because i have trouble letting go of things...i wonder if that is true for all things or just things that i truely care about...i guess we will see.

m.

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