honestly time couldn't pass any slower...are the seconds being dragged through mud or are we just running out of gas? its like the coefficient of friction between my life and time has been multiplied by 100 so it can barely move along, dragging and scratching its way to a finale that could produce fireworks or just produce a fire; burning all remains to ash...in any case, my brain is going crazy...i am weaving like a spider, strings of thoughts overlapping to form webs of confusion...if only i had a crystal ball, all this anticipation could be cured...but wait, what am i am saying, the anticipation is the fun...not knowing whether you are going to win or lose...thats why you play the game...no matter what the odds, on the right day, all the right conditions, anybody can win!!
crazy sore today, did a real easy five miles yesterday which helped a bit...but this whole week will be easy...just some nice steady runs, get my legs back...it will be weird to run in windsor again, my old stomping grounds...like quenton cassidy returning to his old battle grounds...oh the nostalgia!!! but it will be good to get out with some old running friends...ill be sure to bring my tights!!
not sure if i have mentioned but i started watching the show dexter and i officially addicted...it is a very intelligent show and very humerous in a non traditional way...it is a great change from the today's modern tv show...although i love the teenage drama, sometimes it is nice to watch something a little different...i highly recommend it to anybody with some time to kill...you would have to catch up on like 30 epidsodes, but it would be worth it!!!
my final thought is about fear...it seems to be seeping into me lately and often i have trouble fighting it off...why am i so scared? i am scared to fail? scared to admit that i have already failed? or am i afraid that if i achieve i won't know how to handle that achievment? time will tell, it always does.
m.
2 comments:
It's not the fear of failing that bothers me. Everyone fails. However, the vomit inducing confidence blow that occurs when failure is imminent is pretty brutal.
On a more personal note, having things handed to you can be nice. Actually, falling into something is even better. But at what point do you stop and address the issues surrounding your eventually having to prove everything you've stood for and apparently stand for. Do you regurgitate the minimum and conjure some auxiliaries? Just to satisfy those who require satisfaction. Or should you accept failure, take a step back, reconstruct your methods and achieve greatness the good old fashioned way.
Work, it is no more than the product of force and distance. Believe me. Power on the other hand, requires time.
I have never been a killer. I'm not an aggressive personality and if I can remember any emotion I felt during a race it was fear. The greatest stimulator of my running was fear.
Herb Elliott
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