to plumet or not to plumet?

hello,
i come to you today with a bruised ego...thinking i was back into this whole running thing, like taking a break didn't affect me...i have discovered that i have a long way to go to get to where i want to be, but the good news is that i have some time...i am definitely behind my fellow competitors and it is going to take a very strong mind to give them a challenge come race day...also i have discovered that i really only have running to hold on to right now anyways...i mean making friends out here has been pretty tough and i am obviously trying to cut out the drinking and partying to give my running a boost so i am sort of left to running...i mean i could work more but who wants to do that...i am really at a cross roads in my working life...i give credit to all you people out there who happily wake every morning and stroll along to your average paying job and don't complain...it is getting to me already and i am only 25...what a joke i have become...whatever happen to all my thoughts of being something great when i get older...they are currently circling in the toilet, on the verge of being flushed away for ever...just sticking around enough to tease me into thinking i can post a better life...back to running, i hit a few 6 minute miles last night on my fartlek, the were downhill, but just don't tell anybody...it did feel good to get going that fast again and i wasn't huffing and puffing too much...however, the everest climb back home on my last hard mile was another story...i know it is good for me, but i could curse the hills here in vancouver and still sleep soundly at night...but i won't stoop to that level and push through...i got the yoga for runners dvd in the mail and i am going to start hitting that up in hopes that increased flexibility will help with my nagging injuries and all that jazz...i definetely have to be more disciplined in the mornings...they haven't gone well yet...i have been feeling very lonley lately our here in the west...losing touch with all the people i was once close with and it is sadening...i was remembering some good times while i was running down this deserted highway in burnaby last night and i couldn't help but get down...nobody tells you that when you try to make a positive change in your life, you must drag the negative along with you like a ball and chain until you are strong enough to break that chain...i fear that that may require a large amount of time and self discovery and i am beginning to realize that the effort required is greatly over my head...i guess it is fitting to do that out west due to the mountains, this sure is an obstacle the size of a mountain...i guess its time to break out my climbing shoes and begin the ascent...i just hope that if i fall somebody is there to hold my safety rope or i may plumet to my death.

m.