mediocrity: a legitimate fear?

hello internet users,
i am here fresh of my first tempo run of these earlier stages of training and i am probably going to get into the topic of pain, because i was feeling a bit on the run. first of i want to give a shout of to a few of the people that i have reconnected with from back in windsor...oh the power of text messaging...it was great to hear from you and i miss everybody...that got me thinking as well, 'do i miss windsor?', no it can't be true...i used to curse that very name and vow that i would never return once i left...but i have to say i miss the idea of windsor...a city you know well, you know the ins and outs, just the spots to get the most pleasure, not to mention all the people you grow close with...it is something that is easily taken for granted, like you could have that wherever you go...i tell you from experience, that is not true...we may all look at the same stars, the same sun, but for some reason when you have people there next to you staring at the same angle, things just look much more bright...when you are alone, you are only aloted half of the colours, only half of the light travels through the prism...but you must not lose hope because they are probably wishing you were there to share those things anyways...

so, i am coming to you now a day later, i didn't get to post my original post, i got distracted...so no pain comments for this post...i will save that for like a 10 mile tempo or something...i spent most of today day dreaming and i have found lately that i am absolutely losing myself in my day dreams...dreams of what used to be, dreams of what there is to come and fantasizing about being a superhero...imagine everything you did was the right decision, everything you said were words that melted like butter...would you life still have the same thrill...would we be who we are without disaster...i think not...if anything our world would be ruled by boredom...everybody doing and saying the perfect thing...the disappointment of doing the wrong thing is what drives us to be great...i think that disappointment has taken over my life the past little while, i am spending too much time with the ashes, my fire is losing fuel...but rejoice, we all combust eventually and there will be heat again...i must rise from the ashes, like a rocket to the moon...my goal is to be better, i need to start a list of things, things i can improve on and make that my purpose for awhile...to those always striving to be better, i salute you...somebody close to me once told me they were afraid of mediocrity and it is so true...we are all unique is some way, we just have to find it, prevent ourselves from being group together, mass produced...in a world of giants we must be strong enough to stand out as mice...and it this situation we can prove that being big isn't always being better.

m.