abnormal: not typical, usual, or regular

as i sat atop my stationary bike and gazed upon the puddle, the spongy bog that had been created beneath me, i concluded that i was a different breed of human being than the normal...i wouldn't consider myself abnormal (although if you are not normal how is possible to not be abnormal) but just cut from a different cloth, wired in an alternate fashion...i have an undeniable obsession to push my body as far as it can go, and then want to push it farther than that, even in a one hour spinning class...i look around and see small beads of sweat on other peoples faces, but not a pool that needs rubber galoshes to cross...perhaps its that my sweat glands are on steroids, or i am just not in that great of shape, or maybe i just internalize all my struggles and anger and take them out on my body in some sort of exercise...in any event, the obsession has taken over my life and it now defines me...and to be truthful, i love it...this is how i was born, how i was designed to act and now that i have discovered that, i am happy...i smile when i muscles burn, and my obsession his taking me towards the avenue i want to be traveling down for the rest of my life.

to me there is something incredibly peaceful about riding within the confines of a public transit bus...its magical...whether your motive is inexpensive travel, reducing your carbon footprint or just a lack of a personal automobile, the end goal is the same...and i feel that just places everybody on an equal level...i like to picture the inside as a sort of bubble, where once you enter the bubble there is no prejudice, no social status or judgment...it doesn't matter where you are from or what colour your skin is because everybody on that bus is bonded together by their primary focus of achieving travel...its beautiful...you can chat with the driver or the other passengers, or read a book, or maybe just listen to music and enjoy the city moving along without sound...no matter what i do when i am on the bus, it is always on of the best parts of my day...on a bus everybody is family, and we ride together!

i have been reading 'into the wild' and hit up the library today to get a couple of books that chris mccandless was inspired by...his story really inspired me, and not in a way that makes me wanna fall off the radar, but in a way that makes me want to seek out adventure...my mind in working hard now and although it is going to take time to achieve what it is working on, my focus in beginning to become singular...it is nice to have clarity, now i just must put all in motion.

i have been running about 4 times a week and had my last accupuncture session on wednesday...this weekend i will do up a program involving swimming, biking and running along with core workouts that i will follow for awhile...i think i will do a race this fall, i doubt it will be a marathon as i don't think i will be ready, but most likely i will do a half this fall and then if all goes well i will do a full in the spring...but those plans could change...i have really been enjoying swimming and biking, but in the end absolutely nothing can compare to running...the thing that i find ironic about running here in bc is that what people hate the most, provides with some incredible happiness--the rain...i got into a run the other day where the skys were falling and it was tranquility...it was 50 minutes of unrelenting day dreaming while being punished by the pavement, but comforted by the raindrops...it was a brief moment of perfection and in that moment i remembered why i fell in love with running and why i am still in love with running...it was unmistakenly elegant.

m.