the previous chapter had no characters, this one does.

its been many days, and many nights...i think i have been lost and sort of pretended i was a different person for awhile...i couldn't run, i moved away from the people i loved and i got sad...i took out all my negative feelings on my life and got bitter, stopped writing, let my body go and just gave in to my surroundings...however, within that sadness a new and more exciting flower spawned and is now here to stay.

currently i am all up into some acupuncture therapy to help heal my body in hopes that i will regain the running form i so desperately loved...but in the mean time i have been hitting the exercise trail with some other gems like biking, hiking (grouse grind in particular) and swimming (which oddly enough i am sort of falling for after a previous failed attempt to do so)...my body and self image are slowly climbing the ladder and i hope to be on top of things again in the future...i have splashed a few runs in here and there over the past few weeks but nothing to write home about...oh how i miss the feeling of the wind in my face, cracking off 7 minute miles and just loving it...i think my problem was, i convinced myself that those moments were the only ones where i felt alive...once i couldn't live those moments anymore, i failed to live...i hadn't died, but i just wasn't living anymore and it took me awhile to fix that flaw...so i will keep updates on my running and race ideas but they will come slowly...in the mean time i will post updates on my life and whatever thoughts are running through my head.

i made the move to burnaby, which although still a city, is much more my style than vancouver...even though they are attached at the hip...much more foliage and less dolche and cabana (i am sure that is spelled wrong, i actually hope it is) sunglasses...living in the lower mainland of bc has provided me with some good times, some great landscape but also i deep hatred for certain parts of our society and how things work in 'every day life'...i have always thought i was a bit different, and my thoughts have been confirmed...however, the best part of that is it makes me happy...i am so done with the materialistic part of the earth we have created, i mean i am not ready to move into the wilderness just yet (perhaps some day), but the greed and gluntenly that i witness on a daily basis makes me sick...where as humans did we go wrong?

i am living with my friend steph, who upon reading this, will discover that she is one of the most important people in my life...anybody that knows me, knows that i don't carry many people in my little pocket of friends, but she has made a real splash in that pocket and it has been a lot of fun so far with tons more to come...we are hooked up in a place right by a huge park with a lake (the lake is not that big but still cool seeing as it is in the middle of the city) and i couldn't be happier with it...once i do start to run more consistently i have tons of places to explore.

i am not working right now, yes laid off...sort of a product of our recession and sort of a product of my discontent for the type of work i was doing...now i am searching, searching for something that is going to make me feel a little more complete inside...recently i have started to develop some fears that i am not going to find something and i am going to end up living on the street, but i am staying positive and feel that attitude will reach out to the universe and in turn the universe will send me something great (atleast somebody once told me that is true and i trust her instincts).

other than that i am just working out, quietly mocking the participates of vancouvers trendy alliance and just laughing...playing guitar, although i sold my electric guitar because it wasn't quite the one i wanted and now i miss it like it was once a often used limb or internal organ...i will obtain a new or used one in the near future, i must!!! so i once again look forward to writing these blogs and getting my thoughts out to the online community...my treatment is half way through and i am hoping soon i will be able to begin my slow process back to full scale training...until next time...watch less tv, buy less things and enjoy this wonderful country we live in.

m.

ps. i highly recommend the movie 'one week' for any canadian that reads this.